Peek-a-Boo!

So, MIA for months. That's okay. Here's the latest skinny:

Still vapeing. I love it. I also love that I'm spending less than a quarter than I did on cigarettes. I've stepped down the nicotine, and I'm about to do so again. I think.

My house is still a wreck, but some things have improved and I'm getting up some gumption.

Working hard on money things. Trying to save, mostly. It's not going to be too easy this year, as we have a lot of places to go.

It's still lonely here. I'm riding a bit high from a trip this week to Fort Wayne, where I got to see friends for a whole 48 hours (and a "little sister" came with us, so we had extra time to visit with her as well). Sadly tomorrow is back to the daily grind. So here are some daily grind goals:

~~~~~~~~~~

Continue to attempt to eat better, including trying some new things.

Stay on top of money stuff - bills, paying things off, finding better ways to save.

Stay in better touch with people I care about, both because I love them, and it helps me stay out of a funk.

Try to find more ways to help others. It's too easy for me to get wrapped up in our own issues.

Try to be more domestic.

Try to be more active.

Carve out more time to read.

~~~~~

No pretty picture today. I'm posting from the phone. Maybe next time... You know, months from now. :)

Vapeing!

I totally forgot to mention the biggest thing from the last month.

I QUIT SMOKING.

Yep. I have a hard time actually saying that though. I'm vapeing. In other words, I'm using nicotine, propylene glycol, vegetable glycerin, and flavoring in a personal vaporizor, ie: electronic cigarettes. I'm inhaling, I'm getting nicotine, so it's kinda hard for me to say "I quit smoking".

But that's what I did.

And it's been a month today.

It's much cheaper. Really. Even with startup costs for the hardware. I've spent about the same I would have spent on cigarettes for this month buying them the next state over. Buying them here I'm about $60 under.

My sense of smell is coming back. Honestly? This sensory girl doesn't like it. It's another thing to input and process and I get overwhelmed sometimes. I'm assuming I'll get used to it. After all, everyone smells things and they don't go crazy, right?

After leaving a really heavy meal a couple of days ago, I walked up a steep flight of parking garage steps with a friend who has been walking several miles daily, is partially jogging, doing 5k's, etc., and who is at least 75 pounds lighter than me, and I was less out of breath.

I can vape while sitting watching a movie.

Seriously, I'm loving it. It's still hard to think of myself as a "former smoker" though.

Strange the paths life throws you on, huh? 

Internal Debates

I don't know where I've been. Oh wait, I do. I went to Higher Things. I came home and then my best friend came came to visit, then another friend came to visit, and she just left.

Yep. About sums up my last month and a half or so.

Well, and The Husband and I have actually been out on dates lately. We slip away during the day and run a couple of errands and have dinner together and that's been nice. I'd forgotten what that was like. It's kinda like, oh look, hi! I know you!

So yeah, internal debate. Diet, mostly. I'm a junk food junkie. Being gluten-free is all fine and dandy, but I'm not one of those that got rid of the gluten and oh whee watch those pounds just melt away. Nope. Not me. Low carb works great for me. I know this. I've had amazing success in the past. And I skirted around Paleo/Primal long enough that I know that I really need to get the processed foods totally gone and get to eating real food.

Guess what? I hate real food.

Not hate. Hate is too strong of a word. But I've already had to give up all things gluten, and honestly? I miss it. Not bad enough to go on a gluten binge, but that's just because I have to have three weeks recovery time and very, very few things are worth that. (I do, however, have a really nice list of things that I will gorge if I get accidentally badly glutened. If I'm gonna be utterly miserable, it won't be because of some tiny cross-contamination. I'm gonna pull out all the stops. Really.) But low-carb? Meh. I want rice. I want potatoes. I want carby happiness.

So yeah, bah. Low-fat and low-calorie makes me miserable too and frankly, I don't know how I'd do that without gluten, or products that are so crazy processed to make up for the missing gluten. More bah. So low-carb it is, but I don't wanna.

So, yeah, no purpose. Just whining.

Carrots! Yum!

Back in April, I posted about planting carrots. Sunday, we enjoyed the fruits (two of them in fact, well, I guess the roots) of the harvest!

Molly was so incredibly excited. The Little Finger carrots seem about perfect size. The Atomic Purples are still a little short and thin, even though the plan was to harvest them small. I suppose that's a good thing, because apparently Molly keeps checking which one she's pulling, and recovers it if it's a purple, because she claims she likes the orange better. She sure ate the purple, and its greens, like it was going out of style!

I have to say, the raised box of carrots has been wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. It took some time to mix up the soil mix we used (peat, a couple of types of compost, some vermiculite) but we have had absolutely no maintenance to do. Molly watered on a daily basis in the beginning when it didn't rain, and about every other day once they got to decent size. And by "watering" I mean she filled up a small watering can, squatted down, and poured it around the box haphazardly while she chatted with the plants. No weeding. No stressing. Oh, and harvesting? Yeah, we followed the greens to a root, she used her little index finger to loosen the soil around the top (mostly to check the color), and we gently tugged to pull them out. Rinsed off in hose water, munched right there. If you look closely on the purple carrot, it has already had a bite taken off of it.

I'm already working on deciding how to set up raised beds over than whole section of yard for next spring. We'll also probably plant some carrots for fall in this bed once it's fully harvested, as well as a second we'll make and put right next to it.

Yay carrots!

Running away to friends.

Tomorrow I'm heading to Indiana to the Higher Things conference at Purdue. I'm not officially going to participate, but I have a little favor I''m doing for a friend Friday and Saturday, so going up there early to be able to visit with friends was just too wonderful to pass up.

I miss people. It's hard living out in the country. I love my husband, and it's been really nice that we've actually been able to get away together several hours every now and then. Sunday afternoon we went on a hot date to Aldi, Kroger, and Starbucks. Mock if you wish, but Michael's needs made it hard to get away until he got to a certain level of independence (in a lot of ways, it's the difference between a 2 year old and a 4 year old), as well as Molly and Alexis maturing.

But getting back to missing people. Yeah. It's hard not having friends around here. When we went to Louisiana back in March, I made some decisions that brought about some changes, and they apparently aligned with others' decisions about changes regarding me as well, so instead of easing back and protecting myself, I found myself rather blowing out in the wind. And that's okay. It's really for the best. It just wasn't expected. Then again, is anything ever?

So, this week I see friends and extended family at HT at Purdue. I get a couple of nights (maybe alone, maybe with a friend or two, depending on their circumstances) in a hotel with a pool. I get to hang out with an extra day with a really cool kid before he takes off to the other side of the world (and get another night in a hotel room with him and Alexis). Hopefully I can ride the happy wave for a while, then come home and do some cleaning and organizing, because August will be a busy month. Two of my dearest friends will be visiting at separate times through the month. Oh, and we can't forget the local town picnic the last weekend of July to kick this all off. I also will be turning 41, but I'm sure that's an observation for another day.

I can't wait to be around people I love who love me in return that aren't my immediate family. That makes for a happy Faith.

Happy as the Arch under a blue sky with puffy clouds.

Howdy Stranger.

It's been a while since I posted. It's been a rough month. Let's correct that: It's been a rough several months. There have been a lot of changes happening here, and while ultimately they are all for the best, they still bring growing pains. I don't like growing pains. Really.

This past week I've tried to stay lower carb than I had been. I finally started feeling rather decent. Yesterday I blew that with a couple of huge iced drinks from Starbucks and some fries at Red Robin. But that's okay. On a whole-week basis, the difference is huge.

I went for a walk this week. I stayed home for 8 days. Okay, that may not sound good, but for me, it is. Normally I find excuses to leave home strictly because my anxiety levels are maxing out. I did have to miss the graduation ceremony and party for some dear young friends, but that was because I was feeling rather sick last Saturday... sadly, likely my blood sugar going nuts from too much junk food and not enough protein. Yesterday I went to the St. Louis Arch and took pictures of strangers. Stalking people is amusing. And I've found that no matter the age, nationality, race, sex, etc., nearly everyone acts the same at the Arch. It was amusing, and enlightening.

I was lucky enough that a little two year old saw me aiming my camera at her, and came running to me. Her dad let me take a gazillion pictures of her while they were waiting for her mommy. Unfortunately, the light had changed and I didn't adjust my camera settings, so they were grainy and blurry. Some were salvageable, however, and I hope they like them (dad gave me his email address). And when I came to the computer this morning, I found that I had inadvertently taken a picture of the two of them earlier. So, here's that picture (as it doesn't reveal their identity), and a spare.

Some photo progress.

I'm getting a little bit better handle on this camera thing. Yesterday was the local Homeschool Prom, and they have a tradition of taking pictures outside in the late afternoon before heading to dinner then the dance. Last year, I took a ton of pictures, and very few were usable without hefty editing. This year, a good 80% or more were sharp as a tack, and didn't need as much cropping. So, I'm getting the concept of working in natural light down a bit better, as well as framing on the first shot rather than taking a larger scene and hoping that there's a usable crop in there somewhere.

I don't want to post anything here without the permission of the other kids' parents, so I'll just throw in one of the solo shots of Alexis, unedited. No color fixes, no sharpening, no cropping, nothing, just SOOC. Tada!

My baby!!

Next weekend, a nearby small town is having a local festival. I'm tempted to go and shoot pictures of random people. I need to get over my feeling that I'm creeping people out by aiming a camera at them. Well, maybe I am creeping them out. Still, it would be good practice. We'll see.